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Empowering and Inspiring Video

2009-08-30T20:07:00.000+08:00

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A Moment Like This

2009-03-27T18:22:00.002+08:00

Written on March 17, 2009

Tired. This is what best describes my state of mind and body now. It has become a norm for me to give my all to work – this is something I discovered about myself of late. I wasn’t like this at all – I was always fond of complaining for not being satisfied with where I was and what I did with my life. But that was past.

These days I’m simply tired. Not of life, in general but rather, for the reason that I don’t give my mind and body enough time to rest. All I did was work and think about many things, face the computer even at home always wanting to find better and more interesting ways to live, to spend my time on.

What makes this worse is when I watch videos of my baby – who, by the way, is growing up fast without us, it makes me sad… that I cry in silence. Yup, when I’m tired, I get extra emotional.

More than a year ago, I never imagined I will be away from my baby. Now, for the past year, we’ve only been together for 30 days, in 3 separate vacation leaves. And the fact that I have an inherent trait of being lukewarm in my relationships with people in general doesn’t make my relationship with my child any different. Sometimes he really doesn’t care if I come home to visit him. It’s since he doesn’t remember me that much. =(

But it’s not that bad actually. Having a child has taught me a lot on love without wanting to measure the love that would be given back. Coz that little one came out of my belly – a product of my sacrifices and labor. Sometimes I can’t believe Raj has become who and what he is now; sometimes I still can’t believe I’ve mothered a child.

I guess that’s one of life’s miracles. A rather sweet miracle. =)

Fanatik!

2009-03-08T11:37:00.005+08:00

I caught this number called Music Room in ASAP 09, and there was Christian Bautista -- who, while singing, flashed that killer boy-next-door smile. Eeeeeeiiiiiiiii, it’s incredible having celebrities who can give you that wonderful “kilig” feeling.

Later, I caught John Lloyd Cruz -- who I also think is acutely funny and cute, with all his playfully awkward efforts to dance and sing. Hahaha!!! I’m a Lloydie certified fan! Galing e. =D

Then I watched a video featuring Mark Anthony Fernandez from a GMA 7 website, who’s also sooo good-looking in a more mature way. Hayyy…

I really can’t help it; I’m a fan of local showbiz. =D Besides, I’m also a sucker for exciting and dramatic events that happen to celebrities in real life. I’m not really fond of telenovelas but I watch musical variety shows, talk shows, and I just love watching a number of these talented folks -- I get carried away with their real-life sentiments more often than not.

And, of course, I wish I had watched the second half of Eraserheads’ much-anticipated concert last night. =(

Ending 2008 with a Bang!

2009-01-09T07:08:00.000+08:00

After revisiting a post written as 2007 ended, I got inspired to write a similar one for 2008.

Some things worthy of revelry:

Overcoming the challenges at work.
Baby Raj’s First Birthday!
Having a great family.
Raj doing great even with his parents away.
Always having a grand vacation time with family.
Having been able to support my sister and parents in their endeavors.
Great friends outside work.
Great new friends at work.
Getting a taste of the things I love doing or at least love to try like:

jamming with a band
taking a very short theatre acting course
volunteering for Gawad Kalinga
volunteering to give cheers for the sick and elderly organization
organizing our company’s blood-letting activity
watching Air Supply’s concert Live!
mangrove tree planting
donating for other worthy causes (typhoon victims, student scholars, etc)
joining toastmasters club
sharing an unforgettable moment/spotlight with our company’s Country Manager
participating in our company’s Christmas party through a group dance number – with positive feedback =)
taking a short fashion accessories class
joining the Moms’ club in our office
dined at fancy restaurants
re-processing my passport application
videoke with friends/officemates
Christmas party with my husband’s family
videoke up to sawa with family on New Years’ Eve
grand Christmas vacation with family (three weeks!)

Being in a really positive working environment.
Movies I enjoyed watching.
Books/articles I enjoyed reading.
Having finally parted from an abusive/offensive lead.

On the other hand, here are some feats to achieve this year (2009):

Going home every three months to spend time with my baby.
Starting to operate a small business.
Finding a great place to settle down (Dipolog City).
Raj turning Two years old!
Taking piano lessons.
Welcoming new people into my life.
Contributing more as a person.
Contributing more as an employee (Improving technical and leadership skills, and helping organize community activities).
Taking on a more positive life perspective.
Making bolder moves.
Getting a healthy lifestyle (like healthy food, exercise, dance routine, and… gym? Yoga?).
Time management.
Helping my sister fulfill her dreams.
Buying that book by Steve Chandler.

And the list could go on... Happy New Year, everyone! =)

Weird Lang

2008-08-15T15:45:00.001+08:00

Today is 08-08-08; for some, it’s something special. But I intend to spoil it, anyway

If there is such thing as being prone to ingrown nails, that should be me. I don’t know how many times I have endured the pain having to find the culprit scrap of a nail that wasn’t taken out as should have been. Hayyy, I really wish those times I could have a dose of anesthesia! Mavuang ko sa kasakit!

There was one instance when my sister was there to rescue; I was crying all the while she was tinkering with my swollen toe. As if I was watching an uber-drama special.

Makes me really wonder how I survived the throes of childbirth given my low tolerance for pain. It’s one of life’s miracles – one where I experienced pain of the extreme kind that left me extremely powerless and helpless. Well, even that is an understatement; I thought I was on my final moments. No kidding.

Well, I’m not trying to scare anyone who hasn’t been there yet. I just want to say that you should think a hundred times if you’re thinking of having a baby.

Wah! Kidding.

Find out for yourself, anyway. That first time was traumatic enough for me that if I would absolutely have it my sanest way, I will happily make do with one child. I might not be able to handle another round of it. Yes, I’m scared… to death.

The Time is Now!

2008-04-19T17:01:00.000+08:00

It is once said that you should make it a religion of everyday if you’re really intent on succeeding at something. For the sole purpose of making this newfound principle work, I have to commend myself for trying to keep on track. And it’s been five days now.

Though this entry is going to be short because I don’t feel that well today (just temporarily physically), I still thank God knowing that the day has come and gone with my loved ones safe and sound. I have always been the one who says her prayers many times during the day (and, of course, closes the day in prayer). Blogging about it is just something I add to my daily habit.

For some who may have taken up the view that another day is something that naturally arrives and comes to pass, well, this is an attempt to find a day’s true worth to avoid regarding it as just “another” 24-hour episode. Everyday is a gift; let us cherish it as it comes, holding it in high esteem as if it were the last day that we are to live. That way, we go beyond our usual routine, get to accomplish more and live a life to the full. This is very positive.

Have you always wanted to grab the microphone and sing your heart out, although your voice doesn’t have that top singing quality? Planned to say “I love you” to someone but never had the guts to do so? Have always wanted to take up Master’s Degree but never found the time? What are you waiting for? Today might be your last chance to act on it, so do it NOW!

NOW is what you have; NOW might be the time you only have. Make NOW count while it lasts; make the most of NOW!

So NOW I’ll thank God for giving the best life that I could ever have! =)

Original post here.

Take Control!

2008-03-30T21:18:00.000+08:00

For me, and I bet most of you will agree, phones are an important resource that we invest on. In our case, the land line phone comes in the package with the internet connection, at least for the duration of the lock-in period. A great offer actually.

Until for some reason, our bills shoot up to 12K! Whew..! That really sent our BPs up and made me utter some unpleasant words for a couple of days. But you see, this is just one of the challenges that we have to overcome as a couple. At least now, some lessons can be learned out of the experience. Don't just rely on trust; try to exercise preventive measures.

But after all's been said and done, you have to get up and elevate yourself from that flashing moment. Bills need to be settled as agreed no matter how painful it is paying for something that you haven't even spent for yourself. And bills should be paid even if it means taking up a loan if you can't pay for it with your current salary. This is a fact that you have to live with. Just be sure to get back right on track when you've fully recovered the loss. We all go through that at some point in our lives.

And while we're at it, here's a cash advance online resource that might help you get that funding that you need. This is worth checking out, folks, as their flexible payment options truly help.

When Lightning Strikes

2008-03-26T22:57:00.000+08:00

My process of collecting ideas for a website has taken quite longer now. But until I come up with a concrete framework of what I want to build, they just have to sit in my repository until I will find better use of them.

What I want to create really is something that is not entirely personal, and with that I mean something not merely for my own use and misuse. So until those things are completely outlined, I am not going to settle for anything I feel still needs time to develop. It doesn’t matter how long it would take me. Time may be of essence, but so is content. I believe illumination will come as it should, but being immature and impulsive has its downside. For once, I want to be sure that I really have that essential something to offer before I make a go on it.

In the meantime, I’ll just keep my brains busy. Maybe I could think of something else other than a website. But whatever it is, it will come to me in time; just like how the pieces of the puzzle will form into an integral whole. Whew, sounds really serious! =]

But among other things, I know I should employ the services of a web hosting company that would provide the right amount of support to maintain my site.

Play Mode

2008-03-23T22:10:00.000+08:00

Slot machines may be the most popular among online casino games. After all, playing it doesn’t require skills; it is purely a game of luck and for fun. Some even consider it a starter, to set your mind into the play mode. But for your convenience, you will be provided with the ambiance to speed up and get you into casino mode, ready to handle the excitement that’s sure to come.

There are a lot of online slots you can choose to play. When you join online gaming, you would be given a welcome bonus which varies in every online casino. Before taking up any of these many offers, it would be wise to check out the current best options as per expert and user reviews.

As a rule of thumb, before you start on anything, be sure to read the necessary how-to’s so you would take full advantage of your experience. In the case of online gaming, it would ensure you full pleasure out of your gaming. And then it’s up to you to decide if you want more than just the fun factor of it.

Syve's Blah

2008-03-23T21:20:00.000+08:00

Let me begin this piece by saying that I try to limit my TV viewing to programs that are truly entertaining and a bit educational.

Ay, duh! As if!

I’m actually checking on the latest on local showbiz online every now and then; I’ve had that passion for local artists since I was little. I even wrote to and got replies from some of them when I was younger (to mention one, it’s Donna Cruz). Yep, I was that fanatic that when I was in college and Judy Ann came to visit Ayala at the height of the Mara Clara fame, I was one of those who braved the siksikan crowd just to see her closer. Haha!

Anyway, lately my gossip sources (both text and video) are inquirer.net, gmanews.tv, and pep.ph. With gmanews.tv/video, I also get to see documentaries that I missed on TV, simply because with local TV, you really don’t get too see much quality shows so better skip the habit altogether... hmmm, save for some local showbiz programs. Hehehe.

But anyway, somehow I’ve outgrown the obsession for celebrities because I don’t watch local movies anymore; it even takes a lot of convincing before I watch a foreign film on big screen. Although it’s actually the kuripot side of me that is at work here. I would prefer waiting for the version that’s available online. Haha!

But let me share this one first that I've experienced lately -- celebrating the International Women's Day! So here goes my kudos to every woman out there... What an amazing creature God has made out of you!!! =]

In My Room, I Sat Down and Wrote a Blog Entry

2008-03-22T23:06:00.000+08:00

I just realized I’ve been posting six paid blogs in a row and thought about the rules that I may have violated, not to mention my own personal life’s rules. Hehe. So far, I think I’ve done well in a number of aspects.

Not so well, though. There have been some struggles I’ve managed to overcome lately and somehow, I’ve grown both personally and professionally. But there are still a lot of skills that I want to develop, both soft and hard. Right now, I’m just thankful of the opportunities coming my way and I will try to make the most out of them.

We had this task of plotting our journey line and to this day, I haven’t actually sat down to do it. Suddenly, there’s so much to do for me. Which goes back to my reading on how to live twenty-four hours a day. I have this habit of adding unnecessary pressure on myself that sometimes spoils some hours that I will never, ever recover. The me, the me, the me. In spite of the unpleasantries, the me nevertheless.

Need Financial Help?

2008-03-22T22:21:00.000+08:00

A home loan is what every financially able family lists to be among the top priorities. I say, financially able. Most people are relying on their salaries, which alone cannot cover all the necessary expenses for the family including kids’ education.

Then enters the financial institutions granting assistance, and you thought they’re truly heaven-sent, temporarily relieving you from financial burden. I say temporarily. Later, you realize you are amiss in making payments as your needs will not, unfortunately, be reduced. And so you seek the help of another financial institution and with so doing you increase the risk of getting badly in debt.

At any point in our lives, we resort to borrowing money or getting credit. No matter how we tighten the budget, there are necessary expenses like home loan with interest that we have to pay for. But the key here is weighing the options properly before you decide on taking any.

But regardless of your bad credit history, here’s a website that helps you choose the best credit offer to fit your needs. How do they do that? They provide you with an up-to-date compilation and comparison of the top offers in the market thereby giving you the essential guide in deciding which among the offers best suits you. This way, you lessen your chance of getting bad credit loans.

Need more information? Click here.

Wanna Have Some Fun?

2008-03-22T10:01:00.000+08:00

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For starters out there, the website offers beginners guide and online gambling tips so you can be better guided and get to take advantage of the best features. The intent of this site is to make your online gaming a fun and worthwhile experience so you won't miss a thing.

You may forward this tip to your friends who might be interested. For more information, click here.

Still on Online Business

2008-03-21T09:50:00.000+08:00

If you're really intent at pursuing an online business but undecided with all those options swarming up, try the ones whose worth have been proven and tested. Here are among the reasons why you should choose Ashop Commerce:

You can choose shopping cart software features according to a pricing plan that's truly affordable for you.
You can test drive any of its shopping carts and experience ease of use.
It has fully serviceable technical and customer support including fraud alerts and web promotion assistance.
Its shopping cart softwares are optimized to ensure the products you sell online reach the top in online search engines, to be easily known and accessible by potential customers the world over.
You can fully customize your web site design.
It offers hosted ecommerce software for your utmost convenience.

Now that's real value for your money, don't you think so?

Online Business, Anyone?

2008-03-15T22:40:00.000+08:00

Let me start by saying that it has been proven that most enterpreneurs are born, not made. If you've got what it takes to be a successful in business, go for it. Just be sure to choose what best suits your personality. There are a lot of online sites that can aid you in finding out what's your entrepreneurial personality type, in case you might want to try.

Now, we are talking about real business strategies for those who have established themselves, and would want to expand their territories and reach across borders. The answer would be to build a website. Internet usage statistics data reveal more than one billion internet users around the world, with the usage growth continuously increasing.

Imagine the potential of even a very small percentage of that number to build your online client base. A little downside of this strategy is the cost of building and maintaining a website, especially for the small to medium-sized businesses. Well, Ashop Commerce has a very good offer for a variety of ecommerce software needs. They offer online shopping cart software that is fully customizable for a pricing plan to best suit your business needs. Take advantage of their award-winning online business solutions for an affordable monthly fee.

The Games that People Play

2008-03-01T16:28:00.000+08:00

Consider this. You are given this chance of a lifetime to do anything, just about anything. What would you do? I can surely guess that you would you want to do the things you haven't done before. Honestly, the more I've read on references for this task, the more it gets me excited to give it a shot. Even for once. It would surely be in my list. And then we'll see how far it would take me.

But it shouldn't be that difficult to start since playing casino games has been just a click away. And they say, more often than not, with casino online, you will get almost the same adrenaline rush. Although personally, I would want to experience the real one – like in MGM Grand where Manny Pacquaio won a fight last year. Yuhoo!

You can play for money or you can play for fun; choose the option that's best for you. Just set your limits. And if you don't know the rules, there are a lot of online references. Then you can start building your skills.

Show Time!

2008-02-23T21:22:00.000+08:00

For some people, casinos have become the ultimate social gathering places, where entertainment and a great deal of gambling take place. But these places are oftentimes associated with women, drinks, and all the dirty tricks of gaming. Simply put, it’s not the place to be for the faint of heart.

Nevertheless, we all recognize this place. We watch our favorite Hollywood stars figure in movie scenes abounding in rich colors and lights. And like it or not, a swarm of curiosity sometimes obscures our attempts at self-denial. We all want to be in a place like that, even for once in our lives!

Well, it doesn’t hurt to try to take exploring the world on a higher level and, in effect, spoiling ourselves every once in a while. That is something we owe ourselves. Right?

For those who are entertaining the idea of casinos, you might want to check out the online versions and explore your options while you are new in the arena. Online casino makes it possible for gamblers to play casino games through the Internet.

Well, the best tip is you don’t play these games unless you know very well the rules. Sounds fair eh? Check out this online review site for your guide of the best online casinos.

At The Beginning of the Journey

2008-01-12T14:42:00.000+08:00

Many of us go through our lives with countless ideas in mind on how to make our lives better. We occasionally do a rundown of the things we want to accomplish, say, in a year’s time or so. And sometimes we become so engaged in our own thoughts that we believe that someday, it will all come to reality. Someday.

But then all of a sudden, we pull to a stop in our tracks. We shake our heads in disbelief and sigh at how quickly we can get carried away, thinking about those things. A little later, we’re ready to leave the ideas altogether. What went wrong there?

You see, if our ‘buts are not too big’ (thanks, MarkJeee for the link), we would have been better than how we are now. Somehow, we have this responsibility of gaining wisdom at everywhere we turn to and finding answers in our own chase, and after which, sharing them with others.

Anyway, today is the wedding of my sister-in-law, Kimmy (Karl’s younger sis) in Dipolog City and Raj and I won’t be there to witness the event for some reasons. I just wish the couple wonderful years of life together. For truly, finding the person to spend the rest of our life with can be such a tricky enterprise and can sometimes take a lifetime to achieve.

Happy to be New

2008-01-06T19:04:00.000+08:00

It's new year and hello bloggers' world! We're back from vacation and what can one expect? New hopes, new leaps, renewed determination and courage, everything new. Even the house will never look the same again. Everyone is trying to live up to the new year's expectation and I am no exception.

It's amazing to be back! It's been nothing short of a great time off. Really.

I have posted photos instead of blog entries... there's no need for words to describe Holidays with family. You can view some photos here.

Get Paid to Blog

2007-12-17T01:10:00.000+08:00

Having been homebased for more than two weeks now gave me the advantage of time to explore the possibilities of a more versatile online existence, to catch up with the Internet's varied uses or functions.

To be specific, I've heard about people being paid for posting on their personal web space about different products and services, pretty much like what I did before, only in different forms of media. Having said that, I'm not surprised that blog advertising has become a trend, as the Internet has become such a powerful tool or medium to make companies and their products and services become known the world over fast.

For someone like me who occasionally writes for money (and most of the time, for passion's sake), nothing can be more exciting than getting paid while blogging... seriously. Have you had moments in your blogger's life that you are at a loss for the right words to channel your thoughts on personal issues? Then take an emotional break and make way for some money-making deals: advertise on blogs and get paid.

Although there are many other sites with services that connects advertisers with bloggers, I have seen that smorty is different such that signing up and getting your blog approved is a lot easier and faster. And then once you're in, you are up to more opportunities than others have.

Get paid for blogging now.

bLah at 1 am

2007-12-15T01:08:00.000+08:00

What am I doing? I’m supposed to be asleep now as I’m physically tired. I am just resisting the urge to jump into the bed, I guess – hmm, don’t know – maybe since there are a lot of things in my mind right now.

Dili ko pakatulgon.

So what I did was nagtagbaw ug videoke through KaraFun and KaraokeKanta softwares installed in the PC, while Karl is at his laptop also consumed by his passion for work (right now, he’s into web development). Hayyy, geeks and me.

Gotta go kay si Raj gidaman.

Dignified Indemnified

2007-12-11T18:13:00.001+08:00

I don't wanna see your face

I don't wanna hear your name
I don't wanna thing
Just stay away baby
Don't wanna know if you're alright
Or what you're doin' with your life
Don't wanna hear you say you'll just stay in touch baby
I'll get by just fine
And if you're goin' then darlin'
Goodbye, goodbye

KNOCK IT OFF!!!

Joke lang. A friend knew beforehand that I’d have more time to blog now that I’ve chosen the bum-bee-bee-bum career path. The best part of this, actually, is not having to wake up at 6 am. Lumba pa mi ug pangatulog ana tulo. Now, tell me, should I get off lest I get used to this?

But anyway, I’m not totally bumming around –– just enjoying a much-needed break. And only God knows how I can’t stand the thought of my five-month-old baby’s yaya giving him a bath that’s why I do it myself. Don’t get me wrong; I’m so thankful of the nannies ‘cause they’ve been wonderful partners in taking care of my baby. They, too, have loved our cutie and I can see it. But only a mother of such assumed dedication could understand me.

Moving on, it’s only this time when I resigned from work that I haven’t worried that much on where I’m going. Maybe it’s just about time. I have been planning this all along, just didn’t know when to make the MOVE. And I thank KARL for the hardworking and understanding husband that he is (read: allowing me to sometimes while away my time at the doctor’s clinic and paying my credit card dues, hehe).

Again, don’t get me wrong; I’m not big on them. And it's not as if I'm in for a total makeover. I’m just thankful that some of my friends kind of influenced me to get into a little of this. After all, it doesn’t hurt one to try to pamper herself a little more; a guy friend has always accused me of denying myself that.

Blog and Get Paid

2007-12-03T01:10:00.000+08:00

If you have been using the internet for quite sometime now, reading blogs (and posting new entries) is probably in your itinerary every once in a while when you enter into the virtual realm of the world wide web. For many people like me, blogging means updating friends or the target readers on the events (or nonevents) of our lives.

But people blog for any reason –– it’s more than just an online diary. If you have been following the news, you should have known that the use of blogs has become increasingly mainstream and the extent of their influence, far-reaching.

The term blog (short for weblog) coined by Peter Merholz, has become such a phenomenon. Blog softwares and blog hosting services such as Blogger continues to gain strength and increases its number of bloggers to more than 100 million to date.

Realizing the potential of blogs as a medium for disseminating key information, Bloggerwave.com has opened an avenue for companies to advertise their products and services by commissioning bloggers to write about them in their personal blogs. At the rate that people are relying on the internet for information, this will effectively create buzz about the company’s products and services. At the same time, bloggers are provided with income-earning opportunities to create a whole new meaningful online existence/presence for them.

With bloggerwave, you don’t limit your blogging experience to personal matters; you expand your horizons. So come on, people, ride with the wave. Sign up at Bloggerwave.com and make money for posting in your personal blogs.

How’s that for a gift for the Holidays and a startup for the coming year?

The Day He Said Goodbye

2007-11-27T17:54:00.000+08:00

One time, Karl went home to his parents and to this day, I don’t know the reason why. Sometimes he has this habit of answering you with, “Wala lang” probably in his attempt at keeping some things to himself. And sometimes I choose not to go beyond the line. I don’t know, I have this feeling that he might have had enough of me that he wants space, if only for a while. And it even comes to my “luoran” point that I could say the infamous words, “Hell, yeah! I am not your partner; I am just your wife.” Pathetic as it may seem.

But, honestly, when I first heard of his plan, angry silence wasn’t the right description of how I felt. I felt betrayed. Thoughts raged in my head like, does he want to relieve himself from fatherly duties for a while? Does he feel he has had too much of a load playing dual roles when he’s awake for work late at night? You know, sometimes, when I’m really tired, I need to recharge… even for just a few hours.

And yeah, who’s complaining now? And to mention one of the least, did he have to contend the pains over being unable to breastfeed because I am away tugging with my PC? But being me, sometimes silence is my best cover lest I say things that should have been better left unsaid.

But still I cried when it was time for him to go. We’ve been almost inseparable since we got married (and even before that). Mingaw kaau oi.

Still this experience smacks reality in the face.

I was actually glad he was gone for a while! The evenings just weren't the same. I was happy to have the bed to me and my baby (Raj used to sleep in our midst). It was comfortable to surf the internet and check my e-mails alone, no pressure of company to limit my usage of the PC. Raj was hassle-free, too, perhaps sensing my comfy high. Now, I do appreciate some time apart. Although between us, I am least likely to be discharged of my motherly duties. But then again, I can’t probably live a night without my baby at an arms length or two.

I got this beautiful statement from a website:

“Part of me is happy that I get to breath for a day and know that I am breathing for me. That the steps I take are leading me to where I want to go. And, as much as I love you all, I need a day to escape life. Our life.”

Hurrah to 2007, Hail 2008!

2007-11-27T10:43:00.000+08:00

Some things worthy of revelry:

Overcoming the anxieties of pregnancy.
Conquering the throes of childbirth.
Baby's Baptism.
Celebrating a milestone birthday.
Hanging in, regardless.
Great family.
Good friends.
Good health.
Good move! (We’ll see.)

On the other hand, here are some feats to achieve:

Being a good wife and becoming better still.
Raising a smart and confident kid.
Learning to love unconditionally.
Learning to forgive my worst enemy.
Welcoming new people into my life.
Finding work I love.
Finding a great place to live.
To stay optimistic, no matter what.
Staying focused.
Time management.
Earning more than I ever dreamed.
To think better, feel better, and look better.
To think best, feel best, and look best.
To be less self-serving.

A Love Story

2007-11-21T17:39:00.001+08:00

I got this idea from here and so here goes our story. Hmmm…

Where and when you met

Actually, we met a few years ago (in college). I don’t remember the exact date, but I was two years his senior in the computer science bachelor’s degree of UP Cebu College. I don’t remember talking to him in school; I just knew who he was and where he’s from.

Where and when you met again 1

It was sometime in 2004, I bumped into him near UP after we had lunch with my officemates then. He encouraged me to apply at NCR. It was just a meeting of no significance between us.

Where and when you met again 2

I came to Cebu on November, 2005 to join this contest portion in the now-defunct comedy TV show on GMA 7. I asked Donnalyn if I could stay at her place for two days and I didn’t know they were housemates then.

Where and when you met again 3

I was applying for programming jobs and was staying at a boarding house in the UP Cebu neighborhood in February 2006, and that’s when we saw each other again. He asked for my number and I obliged – in my mind it was for friendly reasons (clueless as ever). Call it whatever you like but he told me later he hoped to run into me that day.

I’m not sure which meeting came first, but we also bumped into each other at NCR when I applied for software developer position but ended up being offered with another position.

Up to this point, I thought of him more as a younger brother.

Where and when you first kissed

Hmmm… our first hug was more romantic than the kiss. We were at the rooftop of their previous apartment and we were waiting for some stars to shower atop us. But came past midnight and still no sign of meteor rain. Hmmm…

But neither of us wanted to call it a night although it was getting a little cold.

THEN… without warning, CAME the ‘tickling’ sensation. It was like something stroked my hand so lightly enough to cause some stir from within. (Kanang manlimbawot imu balahibo pero dli horror) Or basin hangin lang to (haha!). I told him about it and he was quick to whisper, "Basin ako to". Hoowaah!

Gikilig jud ko ato nga gikigwa. As if by magic, I hugged him tight. Kanang feeling that you both flew into a rage and finally were able to express how you really felt for each other. Sapagkat kami ay tao lamang...

I don’t remember how long we stayed that way.

So much for waiting for the flower to come into its own full blossom (kana ba untang sama sa pagbukad sa bulak sa sayung kabuntagon). Oh yeah!

MABUHAY ang kilig moments!!!

For All the Women Who Have Loved

2007-11-19T14:06:00.000+08:00

I just want to make a stand. It appears that I have followed the story between these three celebrities in the Philippines where a baby is closely involved. Maybe I feel strongly for this because –– yup, you guessed it right –– I am a mother, too. And I, too, will do anything to keep my family from falling apart. I may have a personality that contradicts what I usually allow to be seen with.

For those who haven’t been mothers, you have no idea what we had to go through and what we’re going through. That it’s inevitable that we sometimes turn into our inner monster. You have no idea what we are capable of. I have seen this same trait from my mother and, thanks to her, we have remained a family to this day, getting closer and enjoying each other’s company a little more for what little time we now have to get all together.

Sometimes guys can be less assertive (and how I hate it!) and that’s when women should toughen themselves up a bit. I am not the type of woman or person who can be lured with material things; I’m way better than that. My life doesn’t revolve around beauty products, shopping, travels, gadgets –– vanity in itself. I may not know my absolute worth but I know I am made of stuff beyond the superficial.

That’s why I appreciate efforts to be together (read: quality time) and no-matter-how-little efforts to make one feel that he/she is important. Some people may have this difficulty deciding who and what's more important in their lives. Sometimes they tend to forget that it’s family who’ll be there for them the most and they should not take them for granted. Would you appreciate a guy who wouldn’t stand up for you? Yeah, forgive me for saying this, but I’m enduring this. And I’m not loving it.

That’s why I am so buying Carlene Aguilar’s side of the story. She’s a lot braver and more admirable than what she has been given credit for and knowing what she’s fighting for is even the least of the reasons for it.

To be Tagged is a Choice

2007-11-15T14:58:00.000+08:00

7 Facts about me:

1. Proud mother!! (Aws, dli jud lalim manganak-- so gotta take pride!)
2. I have a few close friends and though I am easy to get along with, I am a very private person.
3. I initially throw tantrums when I’m tired and I still have to wake up for my baby (hehe).
4. I still have a problem managing my time.
5. I am a homebody.
6. I am a jealous type (I discovered this by chance).
7. Sometimes I don’t say what I really mean, if only to give peace a chance.

My Lifes’ ABCD

A– Age: 27
B– Band Listening to Right Now: All work, no play daw o! At home, Karl always plays Jack Johnson these days, while mine are songs for babies (Beatles for Babies, Elvis for Babies among them)
C– Career: Make it careers. Wife, mother-blogger (hehe), pro-grammar, programmer.
D– Drink or Smoke: Neither. But no closing statement on drinking.
E– Easiest Friends to Talk To: My sister (I’ve never been as close to anyone), Raj (hehe), Karl (depende sa mood, hehe), my officemates (kuwela man gud na sila), college friends, Guile (my corny writer-musician friend.. check out Hastang), blogger mates, Lotlot (though we’re continents apart), some chatmates (I feel close to them even if we haven’t really been together for quite a while or haven’t shared experiences much).
F– Wala lagi??
G– Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: bears
H– Have a Boyfriend: If a boyfriend is a subset of husband, then I do have a boyfriend.
I– In love: Like crazy!
J– Junk Food You Like: Nothing in particular.
K– Kids: Aziraj “Raj/Azzir” Kent Suma-Realiza
L– Longest Ride Ever: On the way home (maximum of 15 hours).
M– ???
N– Names For Your Future Kids: Won’t think of it now; my first baby’s name just came to be as it’s meant to be.
O– One Wish You Have Now: To increase my worth and to prove I’m worthy.
P– Phobias: horror films are no-no’s when I’m alone; people who have lost control over their minds (you know what I mean), losing the ones I love, traps, heights, some insects, snakes… losing my mind.
Q– Favorite Quote: Hmmm… Quote and quote.
R– Reasons to Smile: I have a baby… need I say more? =]
S– Sleeping Time: Should have been as early as I can to catch up on sleep but…
T– Time You Woke up: 6 am.
U– Unknown Fact About You: Make it facts. I am my father's daughter (I can throw a fit like you have no idea). I am funny.
V– Vegetable You Hate: I’m a vegetarian.
W– Worst Habit: Tardiness.
X– X-rays You’ve Had: Chest.
Y– Yummy Foods: Wow, food! Enough said.
Z– Zodiac Sign: LEO

I'm Moving!

2007-11-14T16:31:00.000+08:00

At last, I have mustered the courage to hand in my resignation letter and thus, have put an end to this tragidramedy (ok, I just made that up) of indecisiveness. I now have two weeks to complete the tasks that needed finishing touches before I finally wrap up my stay in the company.

Although I must admit I had a great time with the people I have worked with for nearly two years, I have my own issues and the least I can do is wish for the best for those I’ll leave behind. But I have given them a piece of my mind, my heart and soul. I started in the company as my sole self and have changed since then –– have gotten married and then had a baby (or the other way around).

I know I have this tendency to forget this rule (and probably where I came from): Accept what cannot be changed, have the courage to change what can be changed but have the wisdom to know the difference.

But dili nako sila matiis. I just cannot shut myself out from the problems around me just because I am safe and secure. That’s why before I’ll bid a final farewell, I told the management on what I think the problems are with the company. Of course, we all hope for the better, if not for the best.

It’s just that, I believe in them –– but that’s just not enough. A part of me says I should just let things and them be but there’s just a thin line between things that can be and cannot be changed. And you just have to have faith –– in PEOPLE. A line from a movie Armageddon comes to mind and it says, “We’re all gonna die, right? We might as well die saving the world.”

Albeit this doesn’t even weigh up to that (saving the world, that is), but what the heck? We all have our own contributions, no matter how small. It doesn’t have to be towards “save the cheerleader, save the world” level. Now, I’m not talking about the hit American TV series Heroes here. Although I still have to catch an episode later. ;]

Seriously, though, this is a big decision for me and though I must admit I’ve taken time pondering on this, it’s only recently (just the past weekend) that the thought finally sank in. I am resigning… where am I going? You know, for once, I should stop pretending like this is the most natural thing in the world to do.

But as luck would have it (no, seriously, it’s too early to talk about luck right now), I have been given an offer to work at home and that means having more time for my baby. Ok, I have decided to take yet another crack at this something that I know to this day I'm still struggling on: programming/software development.

Hmm… you know what? Despite everything, things are as lovely as they already are. (Although at the back of my mind I want to go to Japan and experience the wonders of the place, as my dear friend Idel has been writing so interestingly about.)

Ideru, paanhaa nya ko ha. Really, I'm excited!!

Career Interest Report

2007-11-09T17:52:00.001+08:00

Syve, your top career is

Fine Arts

Based on your responses to our Career Interest Inventory, we have an understanding of what types of career areas are right for you and why.

Professions in the fine arts typically involve evoking some kind of emotional response. Whether someone is into music, drama, or painting, they typically possess an heightened appreciation for experiencing the world on a sensory level. People in the fine arts usually enjoy looking at the world from a unique perspective and ultimately they want to share that vision with others. To many people, artists are our cultural ambassadors. That is, people involved in the fine arts are often creating solely for the purpose of connecting with other human beings in an individual way. Unfortunately, most people mistakenly assume that being involved in the fine arts equates to becoming a starving artist but this isn't always the case. Additionally, many people who have a deep admiration for the fine arts but do not define themselves as artists do in fact belong to the artistic community. For example, a lighting director is not a stage actor, but he/she gets to contribute an artistic vision. Part of the challenge to succeeding in the fine arts is to expand your definition of "artist."

A job is not just a job. It serves other needs that are important not to ignore. Don't forget to consider different aspects of your personality when thinking about your specific job interests. Below we've given you some ideas to keep in mind. Following this, the jobs that we've listed for you were personally picked for you with these needs in mind.

Although everyone would enjoy having some money, you want more than that. Whether you actually live in a lap of luxury isn't the point either. Rather, your desire to have certain comforts in life partly relates to your job interests. In addition to making money, jobs carry other benefits too. For example, you may not make as much money being an artist, but it carries a certain amount of prestige compared to other higher paying jobs. You want to have a job associated with having favorable qualities so that you make a good impression with others. A bit of recognition does not hurt either in your book. It's far better to work hard and receive some accolades then it is to work just as hard and not have others admire you for it. Given that this is the case, think about aiming for jobs that are seen as admirable by society at large. In your area, think about jobs that connote high creativity, nobility, or intelligence. Being around people is one of the perks of the job. You are social by nature and while some people see socializing as a waste of time, working with others increases your enthusiasm for what you do. The thought of sitting in front of your computer all day without interacting with people would be joyless to you. Maybe it's that you like bouncing ideas off of other people or you just like taking breaks with people. Whatever the case, make sure you look for jobs that allow you to work with others in some way. It would not only make you happy but also productive.

Reprinted from here.

“Tripping” Down Provincial Lane

2007-11-04T11:51:00.000+08:00

Raj and I went home (to Dipolog and Sindangan, Zamboanga del Norte) to visit his grandparents on both sides. The trip should have lasted for 3 days but some inconveniences presented themselves and we ended up staying there for 5 days. And since we didn’t have much of a choice (Cebu Pacific doesn’t have a direct flight to Dapitan), we took the trip the traditional way –– by ship.

And to say the least, it’s one of the most inconvenient travels I’ve had on the way back. I love going to places but I’m not so fond of “tripping” (while taking the trip, that is) due to motion sickness. Plus, having a baby on travel (four months at that) is more hassle than pleasure. Haha! Of course, as a mother, I’m not supposed to say that. To tame that statement, anyway, I’ll just say it doesn’t delight one to see her son being inconvenienced when she herself is having the queasy feeling inside.

I was texting Karl all the time of our plight but he is just not one to drop everything to rescue you. Paet. Dili sya kalupad or kalangoy just to be where we are. Besides, I insisted on going home on such a short notice after a nagging request from my side of the family.

But on the other hand, here are some good reasons why you should visit your kid’s lolos and lolas as often as you can:

Grannies know better than mother’s best.
Seeing the smiles on their (grannies’) faces is priceless. They’re more excited to see their apo than parents are.
Nothing can be cuter than lolo-apo or lola-apo tandem.

Parents, especially first time ones, commit the mistake of handling the baby in an awkward manner.
Isn’t it an established fact that grannies spoil apos more than parents do of their kids?
Your kid will love the fresh air back at grandparents’ hometown.
They (the whole family) just looove your baby! And it’s nourishment to both parents and baby’s souls.
An arrival of apo in the family tends to elicit fuller and more meaningful relationships between parents and grandparents.
You can take a night or nights off without worrying whether the baby is in good hands.
They’re family, and that makes it the most natural thing to do.

Azir (that's what he's called by my side of the family) and his Tita... pure delight!

Sisters.. missing you always!

Where i am is where i wanna be

2007-10-27T10:25:00.000+08:00

I am so bursting with so many ideas and sometimes I just ditch them without getting them to come to fruition, with nary a single step ahead after a modest effort. And when boredom pays me a visit (like it regularly does) later, I find myself recovering saved files and reviving the will to continue where I left off. This is turning to be a vicious cycle.

Because I’ve got all the reasons why you and I should love life – and it’s all meant for good lovin’ and sharin’. This is all about the good things in you. The good things that gets you in control.

What makes your day today good/great? What good/great thing(s) have you done this day? For the last couple of months? For the year whose end is about to draw near?

For the first two questions, I asked some friends and here are their answers:

I got a job offer… and my program worked! –– smooth escape

My day is very great today because I have just realized my value as a friend and colleague here in the office. My officemates demonstrated today their support to me. They have given me a very memorable surprise baby shower. –– sha

(1) that i have a job that pays me and looking forward to the end of the day when I will meet up with good friends... (2) smiled... dropped a good word for a friend... encouraged somebody. –– fritzie

The only good and great thing is that I have survived another day in a controlled and manipulated society. –– bolas (I swear this person always makes me laugh.)

I completed a level 4 sudoku puzzle. –– guile

Spending my day with nice people. –– martha

you've known me naman, everyday is a great day for me (happy go lucky). well for one thing I’ve learned a new thing or two, no matter how small. I am working and the best of all is I’ve lived my day the way I wanted it. –– jovir

For the first question, everytime my husband goes home in the morning (he’s in night shift) then my baby boy wakes up because he hears his father's voice. For the second, a simple smile that I can share to everyone… –– bench

so far focus ko sa work karon kai naa mi deadline.. i feel great kai grabe kadako sa trabaho ang gihatag sa akoa.. diba moingon man dayon ta nga sus kapoia ani ako team leader oi.. ako man pirmi hasolon.. pero sayop diay na nga attitude.. dako ang gihatag nga work sa imoha kai salig siya nimo... and so far mao na ako nakita sa ako team leader karon sa akoa.. and i feel great nga naay nisalig sa akong skills... –– forrest gump

Haha. Fridays are always great. This day passed quickly but it was a long day still. I accomplished lots of things at work. Later I'm going out with my friends for a coffee date and videoke. =) –– brewed

discovering i have a good talent in writing poem makes my day great; i've written a good poem for today. ahahahahahahaha! bastos man ng balak oi. –– iescarro

Got this from somewhere I cannot remember… De-stressing tips

2007-10-18T16:33:00.000+08:00

* Allow yourself some private time each day, even a minimum of a half hour.

Hmm… if possible, I want to get rid of the computer in our room.

* Pray and meditate.

I always do pray… but not meditate.

* Take a long walk. Exercise that relaxes and gives new perspectives

I only take a walk at the mall when I badly need some shopping (grocery shopping included). Otherwise, I go home straight from office.

* Buy a bouquet of flowers for yourself. Or pick one from your garden.

I bought a single rose for myself on Valentine’s day.

* Turn off the phone, and allow your answering machine to pick up your calls. This is a mindsaver.

Hmmm… no answering machine.

* Snuggle up with a good book.

I’ve stopped reading books lately, just articles… mostly online.

* Put on your favorite music. You can even turn it up loud, and dance; if you have toddlers they love this, too.

Aw, I love music. I always sing – that’s one way of putting my little one to sleep.

* Call a friend, and settle in with a hot cup of tea, give yourself time to enjoy the conversation.

Yep, one friend doesn’t approve of my not going out and not rewarding myself from time to time. I’ve always been a homebody, it’s one way of carrying on the old traditions. Neither do I like too much attention nor spending so much by frequent night-outs or dine-outs.

* Run the hot water, pour in bath salts, and luxuriate in your tub for a long, fragrant soak at the end of the day.

Hmmm… no bath tub.

* Indulge in getting (or giving) a massage.

I’m used to getting the traditional massage.

* Fix a little favorite comfort food.

Yep.

* Recall favorite memories, and allow yourself to recreate that feeling with loved ones, or a special moment in your life.

I don’t get to meditate a lot. Maybe I lost ‘it’ somewhere, sometime in the past.

* Write. In your journal, or a love letter to anyone you love, or a poem to express yourself

I used to write a diary on paper. (I think I still have the old ones back at my parents’ home.) I used to write poems, anything else. But I still pitch in my ideas whenever I’m having ‘it’.

* Treat yourself to a trip to the salon, a manicure and a pedicure, a shampoo and styling, nothing too different, maybe, but just for the fun.

Yeah, I do that whenever I feel I have to but nothing fancy. I’m not the kind who invests so much on my looks.

* . Rent a great video. Or better yet, go to the library, and borrow it with some good books

The last vcd I rented was Pretty Woman. Of course, I’ve seen that before. It’s one of those movies that I can watch over and over again.

* New Books! There are times only a Borders or Barnes and Noble store will do! Spend the afternoon, on your own or with a friend.

No more books for the moment. I think I need a new pair of glasses; it’s been a year that I haven’t worn one.

* Start a Blessings journal, and take time for God.

I always take time for God. Nothing has changed and nothing ever will.

* Go outside: to the beach, hike in the park, walk in the neighborhood. Bask in the sunshine, examine the trees and the flowers, make up pictures in the clouds, delight in the day.

I will. Promise.

By the way, here are some photos on the christening of Raj on October 14, 2007 …

More pics here.

Somebody shut off the alarm!

2007-10-18T13:00:00.000+08:00

*When Mommy is not happy, no one is happy.
When Mama is not happy, the happiness of the other members in the household is not full.

My husband doesn’t subject himself to changes in mood. He has this grin plastered all over his face that I sometimes find annoying.

* A person who is aroused has no conscience.
What good is a human if he/she cannot control such urges?

* You can’t plant a tree in the morning and expect it to bear fruit the next day.
Yep, yep, I completely agree. That’s why I’m struggling to bear down on my head too much info and tasks for having been handed down the responsibility of debugging an entire application.

And yep, I’m pressed for time. But, relax, Syve! You’ll get used to this; you’ll see how this will benefit you in the long run.

* Leave a tender moment alone.
No, I’m not having a tender moment. I’m furious right now. Furious that I’ve thrown myself into disarray over numerous moments of hesitation.

* To be good at something, you must be willing to be bad at it.
Yup, I’ll be seeing me when I get there.

* Sometimes it is better to be sorry than safe.
I never regretted having a baby ‘cause we got married after we learned about my condition. (We’ve wanted that all along.)

* Wanna feel abundance with just 10 dollars? Give it away!
We’re not talking dollars here, but, yeah, I do that whenever I’m truly moved.

Reference: More Practical Wisdom (article by Jim Paredes)

Random Question One

2007-09-20T18:10:00.000+08:00

I have this idea of getting people’s insights or answers about a random question. For now, I have my friends and husband as the initial respondents. Hopefully, there would be more as I try to be bolder in asking questions such as this to strangers a la reporter.

----*----

Question: Why do you have to leave? (First of n Parts)

I have to leave because I want to make a new beginning. –– sha, technical writer

Because staying won't do you any good anymore. –– Guile, indie musician

Better opportunities for growth... I felt I have given my contribution and it's time to move on. –– fritzie, full-time fashionista

Coz i need to move on... –– GiN, HR - Employee Engagement Assistant, Accenture

I left because I'm off to something not here. –– iescarro

"I have to leave in order to survive." –– senshi

Direct to the point... money... dako sweldo diri (japan) –– ForrestGump

Because I’m no longer happy. –– smooth escape

Kay sick. Sayang ang sick leave dili ma convert. –– anonymous

Mu-leave ko kay feeling nako wa nako gi-value... so balhin nalang ko kung asa ko i-value. –– martha

I have to leave because I'm not happy anymore and I don't find it healthy for me. I don't want to work with you anymore and I feel that I should be doing other things than this. It's time to think of myself this time, my dreams, my future. –– brewed

Leave for me is a time where I can relax and spend time with my family. –– Reginald

First and foremost, it’s the pursuit of happiness. And to heed the call for adventure and growth. –– anonymous

(job) = greener pasture; (place) = unsafe; (relationship) = doesn't work out; (game) = tired/sleepy -- Mark

----*----

So there! I could have waited for more answers from other friends but I was so eager to publish this post. To those who replied, thank you for your time. More to come of this sort.

Want to reply to this question? Please email me at syvesuma@gmail.com so I could publish your answers next time. Thank you.

Have I gone what???

2007-09-19T16:59:00.000+08:00

Part 1

I don’t remember how it started.

It got worse when he didn’t insist to take me back to the hospital room. Just as I would not stress my need for company, so neither would I care about how important it is for him to leave.

So I took the elevator by myself and stepped out hoping for things to get better, as they always did. I just guessed it would take time for me to stabilize. And I was trying to convince myself that maybe it was good riddance for the moment.

Until I was growing aware of someone’s “stare”. Scary, was the first thing that came to my mind. I looked back and was surprised to see that it was that person from the psychiatric ward. Er, what was he doing here trailing me? That gave me the creeps, as I took hurried steps.

No, my mind was not playing a trick on me. I swear I know where he came from ‘cause I’ve been in the room once –– no, not as a patient in the same category. But still I couldn’t bring myself to believe that it could get worse.

So much for positive thoughts.

Because I moved further and found myself in a company of a whole bunch of familiar faces –– all from the same ward. Huwaahhh!!! Have I gone MAD??? Have I become one of them without me realizing what happened?

Dazed, I screamed in terror.

Part 2

A woman came up and assured me that I was just in the wrong floor of the hospital building. Later, I recognized her from the room next door.

She was kind enough to take me to where I should be –– for women who had babies. I came around glad to see my parents, who were waiting for my return all along.

Now… what was that???

I woke up with that exact question in mind.

New Look!

2007-09-17T15:33:00.000+08:00

Hey! Check this out.

Thank you to my sponsors: Bourjois for my eyeshadow, marcara, lip gloss and blush on; to Orange Blossom for my headwear; Blue Nile for my necklace; Nordstrom for my earrings. Haha!! Lastly, thank you to MakeoverSolutions.com for whipping up a new look for me.

Wow, there's nothing like a virtual makeover.

My Market Research

2007-09-16T10:17:00.000+08:00

I am currently expanding my interest in business (particularly low-capital ventures). The following are some of the business insights I got from my online research.

There has been a significant growth for non-grocery retailers in the country, particularly health and beauty retailers and clothing and footwear retailers. This can be accounted to the increasing consumer sophistication (the growing number of urban middle class), and the growing number of shopping malls.

However, cheaper products from China, Korea and Hong Kong among others prove to be major competitors of the local brands. Not to mention the ever-popular Ukay-ukay.

“With most Filipinos still belonging to lower- to middle-income groups, their low disposable income renders them to still focus their spending on daily necessary items, classified under grocery products. Nevertheless, the rise of non-grocery retailers continued in 2005, although still not strongly enough to unseat the dominance of grocery retailers.” (Source here).

Fast food still leads in consumer foodservice. Of course, Jollibee Foods Corp. immediately comes to mind. We can also notice the growing number of cafés/bars. Still the continued development of shopping malls contributes to the growth of these establishments.

The large population, which is concentrated in the urban areas (specifically Manila, Cebu, Davao, Cagayan de Oro) and the intense economic activity provide franchising opportunities in both food and non-food sectors.

Meanwhile, the Internet has provided numerous business opportunities for local entrepreneurs in the Philippines. As of 2004, Internet users in the country reached 7,820,000, according to Computer Industry Almanac. The wide range of businesses and entrepreneurs are able to generate new revenues and build customer networks through online services.

The telecommunications industry proves to be a very promising sector, particularly the cellular mobile telecom services (CMTS). This is again owing to the country’s rapidly expanding middle class. According to an online source, in 2004, the total number of CMTS subscribers reached 34% or over 30.2 million.

On the agriculture sector, where the Philippine economy is largely based, the stable food crops are rice, corn, and kamote (sweet potatoes). Other key crops include coconuts, fruits and vegetables, sugar, tobacco, and abaca.

(Reposted from my Friendster blog)

Three Tres Test 2 (others repeated)

2007-09-16T09:51:00.000+08:00

three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. photographer
2. interior/landscape designer
3. bum :P

three celeb crushes:
1. kristen kreuk (hmm… if I’m going to have a baby girl... :P)
2. hugh grant (more of the sense of hugh-mor)
3. jennifer aniston, rhian ramos, keira knightly (fab figures and beautiful faces)
three plus: I love luke mably in the movie the prince & me 1 (don’t know in other movies)

three of your favorite musical artists:
1. the beatles (most people tell me they’re great but I grew up not knowing them as a band)
2. mariah carey
3. I am so into music, so can’t have just a few favorites.

three of your favorite songs:
1. even the type changes to agree with my prevailing psychological state
2. anything for my baby’s listening pleasure
3. I am so into music, so can’t have just a few favorites.

three places you want to go on vacation:
1. japan
2. overnight at a beautiful beach anywhere in the Philippines
3. hmmm…

the perfect weekend getaway:

1. overnight at the beach

2. enjoying massages at the spa

3. a trip to beautiful places I’ve never been to

a lot more!!!

Rants Are Us: DDIIFFAA

2007-09-10T14:02:00.001+08:00

Don’t look at me as if you don’t recognize my value; it makes me appreciate myself less.

Don’t flatter me with your interest if you cannot stand up for me all the way.

I am impatient.

I am disillusioned, indecent. Take my cue.

Feed my soul.

Fire me up.

Alas, I am pretty but pretty tense.

And I am still waiting round the bend.

Hello?!

2007-09-10T13:49:00.000+08:00

Hello! If you’re looking for someone who can say though he/she is not entirely content but HAPPY nevertheless (very happy, indeed), count me in.

I credit a lot of this feeling to my husband with whom I create a relationship of such quality. I’m not saying you should start your own family and have a baby because that, too, is something that you can plan but not make happen all by yourself.

It all boils down to how we uphold life’s beauties while being bound by our duties.

I appreciate whoever coined this: “Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect. It just means you’ve decided to see life beyond the imperfections. So don’t say you’re happy ‘cause everything’s alright. Be happy ‘cause everything sucks but you’re doing fine!!!”

My Raj...

Nice Article: Action is the antidote to fear

2007-09-05T12:44:00.000+08:00

Have you ever noticed how much bigger our fears often are than reality? They take on monstrous proportions, keeping us stuck in place when we really want to be moving forward. Then when we finally start taking steps towards whatever it is we fear we say, "Oh, that wasn't anywhere near as bad as I thought. Why didn't I do that sooner?!"

In my article in Worthwhile magazine, The F Word, one of the things I talk about as an antidote to fear is action. It never ceases to amaze me how starting to take steps towards something is like letting the air out of a big fear balloon (complete with ppphhhhhtt sound effects - but maybe that's just in my head).

So much of fear's energy comes when you're in stasis. When you're sitting there and staring at the thing you fear, the energy behind that fear builds and builds. It's like a pressure cooker - the pressure builds and builds. When you start taking steps you create a release valve for that fear.

Some of that release comes by equalizing the pressure inside and out. The intensity of the fear was never in line with reality. Part of it comes because taking action and seeing success - even in small steps - builds your confidence to do even more. And part of it comes because taking steps brings you further down the path. What was unknown becomes known.

So what step can you take today? And then tomorrow? And then next week?

Article reposted from here.

Today's Scope: September 4, 2007

2007-09-04T11:32:00.000+08:00

Your mind should be working overtime today, dear Leo, as new information and new ideas come to you thick and fast. You might want to use what you're learning in projects of your own, perhaps writing or painting. You might also want to spend some time telling stories to children. Opportunities to participate in exciting new enterprises could provide possibilities for advancement and for an increase in your income. Make the most of it all!

La lang. :)

Three Tres Test

2007-08-31T17:23:00.000+08:00

Got this idea from Bianca’s blog.

three names you go by:
1. syve
2. ves (my nickname back at hometown)
3. syvs/syves/syvz

three screen names you have had (ok, I’d prefer three names I used when I was working as a call center agent):
1. monica (my fave character in Friends)
2. jamie (inspired by mandy’s character in A Walk to Remember)
3. forgot the rest

three physical things you like about yourself:
1. lips
2. eyes
3. nose
three plus: body-build – with height and weight in just-right proportions

three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. feet
2. legs
3. skin type (no big deal actually; i’m not that vain.)

three parts of your heritage:
1. filipino
2. indonesian
3. indian (aha!)

three things that scare you:
1. losing my loved ones
2. my loved ones being wrongfully or legally accused
3. being helpless or dying when I still have obligations to fulfill (a moment of drama)

three of your everyday essentials:
1. computer (for its multiple functionality)
2. anti-stress vitamins (need one coz I have multiple duties now)
3. cellphone (for obvious practical reasons)

three things you want in a relationship:
1. high respect for family and commitment
2. genuine affection
3. openness to try new things together (wholesome ni ha!)

three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. eyes
2. nose
3. height (at least taller than me)
three plus: voice (not in the physical category, though)

three of your favorite hobbies:
1. grocery shopping
2. writing (once I’m into it)
3. videoke (hehehe)

three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. my bath times take long.
2. i like wearing my hair pretty.
3. i cry easily when I feel slighted by my loved ones. (unsaon, spoiled!)
three plus: I want to rekindle the “kilig factor” in a relationship time and again.

three things you want to do really badly now:
1. work in a bigger company
2. get better pay
3. be inspired again at work

three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. songwriter
2. singer-actress (and the big bucks – I wish!)
3. pre-school teacher

three celeb crushes:
1. there was a time that I really liked Val Kilmer.. haven’t seen him in quite a while
2. matt damon (caught by the Bourne bug)
3. anne curtis, angel locsin (killer bodies! haha!!)

(to be continued)

THESE THINGS I LEARNED First Part

2007-07-27T14:41:00.000+08:00

These things I learned/noticed/observed firsthand in my journey into motherhood:

1. I didn’t know labor and delivery could be insanely painful. Dili jud lalim!

Of course it didn’t help that my doctor said I had a “slight” hemorrhoids (medical people, forgive my description if there is nothing as such). Lami man gud ng hot and spicy oi!

2. One cannot accurately predict the baby’s gender based on general physical appearance.

Everyone was saying I was having a girl, even Karl did. The second ultrasound report didn’t tell the baby’s gender. Only my sister and I wanted to go against common conception, out of ardent desire for a male in our family besides my father.

That desire was buried deep into my subconscious that I dreamed of delivering a baby boy thrice! But I wasn’t about to make any firm statement or lay a wager on it. I was afraid that my mother’s instinct would be wrong (Oh, how many times didn’t I listen to it!).

So when a boy finally forced his way out of me after what felt like a struggle of eternity, it felt surreal that I just stared at the baby – no emotions at all. (But then again, how can one register an emotion when she is too weak and at some point, felt like about to die?)

No, I don’t think labor pains take some getting used to.

3. Breasts are for breastfeeding, regardless of size.

Breastfeeding can be initially sore and painful (believe me, I’ve shed some tears on this!) but at the same time, refusal to nurse your baby could send your body temperature at a feverish pitch.

4. It’s normal for infants to respond to the slightest sound or movement.

I swear, this one can be truly amusing! One of the peculiar joys of a mother (and to onlookers).

We didn't have younger ones in the family, never even carried a baby in my arms before for more than 3 minutes!

Well, well… so much to learn. Until next time!

Aziraj Kent (Raj)

What's Your Guess?

2007-05-03T13:58:00.000+08:00

Did the feeling of disappointment come bubbling up to the surface when I learned that my second ultrasound report fail to reveal my baby’s gender? Well, honestly, I didn’t expect to know before that. (Not that I didn’t want to know altogether.)

I am probably experiencing a hormonal change of tune right now, or whatever this is that has become typical of me these days. A week ago I was trying to sort myself out of depression, which was halted when my husband’s family came over for a double family celebration.

And now since they’ve left, it kind of left me largely cold and deserted. So here goes my reliving depressing thoughts and wanting to go home. But where is home for me now? Is it not my new family? Have I been all by myself for a long time that I've gotten so used to this?

Or maybe this persists because of my refusal to acknowledge that we all go through this feeling. Hopefully, putting it into writing makes it eventually disappear. Apparently, I’ve had a few self-absorbed moments too many. Much of what I learned from my mistakes in the past still need to lend themselves well as I continue to try to thrust myself out of the comfortable and familiar.

I’m still very much out of vogue.

And with this train of thoughts, I may not be able to stand not seeing Karl even for just a day – him being a real source of inspiration. I know sometimes I’ve got to focus on my top priorities to keep myself happy and grounded.

Break

2007-04-24T11:28:00.000+08:00

Concentration may not come easily to me right now, but I want to write down things as honestly as I need to be, while navigating through windows on my PC. Some petty things make me sad – even depressed these days. It’s something past the hormones.

Very recently, I learned about something that failed to register as it should. A serious lack of compassion – yup, sometimes I am capable of exhibiting just that. I’ve acquired a mechanism to shield myself from hurt and damaging stuff even as a child, hence my failure to respond effectively to interpersonal matters on occasions. But still that qualifies me for atypical sentimentality.

Maybe it’s the variety of songs that I’m currently playing. Now I’m back to my starting point. Off I go.

You Rock My World

2007-04-03T13:44:00.000+08:00

It’s been days that I’m having the serious condition of discomfort, particularly in my belly – that aside from the fact that the baby has grown heavier each day. It has been taking time to leave the house while constantly trying to assess my body’s condition, if I can make it to travel and through work until 6 pm.

Thank God my sister has come to the rescue, bringing someone along who would take care of my needs. As usual, she has been my Knight in Shining Armour. I have been sick for more than two weeks, mostly caused by the growing unease of my delicate state. I’m having difficulty even in sleep. And now, despite everything, I’m so thankful and happy that I can finally relax at home and that we (my baby and I) are gaining more strength.

Sometimes, I’m really scared of what’s happening to me and my body. It’s treading unfamiliar grounds and it’s definitely something outside my comfort zone. Sometimes the fear prevents me from seeing things with the proper perspective, from celebrating the joys of pregnancy. But I’ve never been the one to be resigned to the idea that life is difficult just because I am having momentary difficulties.

Whereas nature intended to spoil pregnant women and babies, I’m far from the ideal weight – yup, my baby needs help because Mama is not that well. But still, everything’s gonna be alright. Rock ta bai!

Appreciative

2007-02-02T14:35:00.000+08:00

When I initially tried to write this, I was so sleepy without cure that I ended up doing nothing at all that’s work-related. Two days later, I’m still as disorganized. Sometimes doing my weekday routine of waking up early to feed our appetites (mine and my baby’s) though I slept late the night before makes me exhausted. But for a change, it’s about doing something that’s way beyond oneself. I’ve always loved opportunities of those kinds.

I think of those people who take their jobs to heart so much against those who rarely feel responsible, much less commit, to their works. Sometimes I find myself falling somewhere in between. But I’m keeping track of that aspect of my life.

Lately, I’ve grown more interested in the things that are practical. Things that are involving less of the emotions and more of the real exchange of value between two people – especially that of husband and wife and of mother and child. Yup, being married changes a lot of things.

Surprises have come my way in various ways. Our month-old marriage continues to unveil wonders of beauty and duty. I must say I did not read and know much about all these; I do things as I feel. I may be playing it safe in other domains (for one, the social sphere) most of the time, but we all have our own ways of making a mark in this world.

To quote a few of the lines from one of my favorite classics:
* You will be beautiful or ugly, wise or ignorant, fortunate or unfortunate, according to what use you make of yourself here and now.
* Some harvests are longer in growing than others, but they all grow in time.

Spent Too Much Time Thinking of You - December 28, 2006

2007-01-08T12:40:00.000+08:00

to Karl's side are my parents.. to my side are his..

Celeb look-alikes

2007-01-04T11:41:00.000+08:00

Faint

2006-12-15T13:16:00.001+08:00

Since I’m having my usual nausea while at the office (some places to be can be a lot worse), I’ve decided to write since I can’t concentrate on my task. Frequent evening sickness (and occasionally in the morning like today) define me these days. I already lost 2 lbs since I’ve had this baby. It’s been 11 weeks and 3 days now.

What makes things more difficult is that we still have yet to settle our living arrangements (simply because other things come first) and the first trimester is the most difficult stage in pregnancy. So mostly, I’ve been going through all these by myself. Sometimes I just cry of laborious effort and I always pray to get home safe.

I almost fainted once while walking in a crowded place since I missed the scheduled time for dinner. Clearly one of those moments that I consider miraculous such that I survived unscathed.

I’ve had fever, severe colds and slight cough. Sometimes I miss the daily milk intake since I’m too weak to even prepare the drink. Occasionally, I sleep with nothing in my tummy but a prayer that my baby will still be okay.

But we are holding on.

Everyday, I long to seek refuge to my parents’ home. Where we can walk our doggies, Phoebs and Barney, to the beach. Where we can eat everything I crave for – all natural and fresh. Where we can enjoy serenity at its best: me, my baby, and Karl.

Hang in there, my love. Hapit na bakasyon!!!

My First Tribute

2006-11-23T08:15:00.000+08:00

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” Writer Anais Nin

I guess that makes me courageous enough to conceive.

Indeed, this is a moment of inspiration unlike any other.

Little did I know that last Saturday would make me a witness to compassion, giving and receiving. Who among the mothers wouldn’t dramatize the joy and pain of seeing a trace of the fetus for the first time via Ultrasound – so little and so fragile? So helpless but holding on. So alive yet making her way silently and uncomplainingly so.

Wasn’t I such a selfish Mama? The image of life I’ve seen became so glued in my mind for a while that those 7 weeks that I missed him/her out brought me to uncontrollable tears… :(

Indeed, some very big changes are happening in my life.

This early, it might be selfish for me to make claims on the life of this little being but I render myself completely to the union.

And I cry out of joy.

This is the great adventure I have envisioned and now it has begun to take shape.

Karl has never failed to show tender affection and support. I have great people for family and friends who are truly well-wishers; I am so blessed.

Thank you, dear God for the wonderful gift of life!

Something Close...

2006-11-13T14:25:00.000+08:00

For another rare instance, I’ve actually sat down to write with a general conscious awareness of something way beyond myself for a personal space in the web.

Earlier, a friend informed me of an armed conflict going on in Zamboanga and that triggered me to search an online news website. (Only to find out later that it was meant to be a joke… Boom ta rat ta rat!)

Anyway, what caught my eye was this story written on June 14, 2006 at Inq7.net:
Zamboanga del Norte is RP’s poorest province. Sure, that hit me like a bullet. Because I came from that part of the world and my ancestors were the original settlers of the area and of the neighboring towns/provinces.

The Subanen

It was the Subanen folks who named many of the barangays, municipalities and cities of Zamboanga del Norte (Sindangan got its name when a Subanen fisherman thought he was being asked by a Guardia Civil of the kind of fish he caught; a barangay in Sindangan is named after my late grandfather, Datu Tangkilan Andus; Dipolog came from Dipag, which means river in the Subanen dialect, etc.).

The Subanen dialect, to my father’s rough estimate, is being spoken to date by 120-150,000 residents in Mindanao particularly in Zamboanga del Norte, Zamboanga del Sur and Misamis Occidental.

Poverty line

So how is the poverty line assessed? It is obtained by the calculation of the cost of basic food and non-food requirements by the National Statistical Coordination Board (NSCB).

The Food and Nutrition Research Institute (FNRI) sets the basic nutritional requirements (food/subsistence threshold). NSCB computes the minimum cost of the food items needed to satisfy this threshold, which is computed separately for every province within the region, to take into account the differences in food prices.

On the other hand, using the data gathered from the Family Income and Expenditures Survey (FIES), the minimum non-food budget items are determined through the non-food expenditure patterns of households lying within the 10-percent range around the provincial food threshold. (Source here.

Poverty Encounter

Although Zamboanga del Norte, like the rest of the provinces in the Philippines, has achieved high level of literacy in English (and Filipino), that doesn't speak much of the real condition of the province in relation to poverty.

My parents – my mother from the Subanen royal lineage, and my father of Subanen and Muslim ancestry, came face-to-face with poverty while working as public school teachers in the highlands of Zamboanga del Norte.

People in these areas rely heavily on corn, coconut, rice crop, vegetables, cassava, fruits and any soil product for subsistence. Most of the able residents cultivate the land from morning till sun-down in anticipation of a good yield (my cousin comes to work even before the sun comes up!). During those periods of non-harvest or when their crops are destroyed by storms (during which time their dreams wither with it), they come to the point of – not food shortage but, SCARCITY.

This is happening so often that my parents do not wonder when some kids are missing their classes or why it takes longer to teach these kids new knowledge. There was nothing else in their eyes except THE longing.

I immediately recall this from an email: Before you complain about the taste of your food, think of someone who has nothing to eat!

But my parents, being native speakers of the Subanen dialect, have endeared themselves to them as I stand witness to all their hard works just to see these children through the school years, even acquiring new school buildings on their behalf.

Every so often, my sister and I find ourselves recognized as the daughters of The Exemplary Teachers. They have lived their lives to make a difference, professionally and beyond.

My Blood line

My relatives of father’s side come down from the highlands (mulugsong in Visayan) on fiestas or after harvest times (corn, coconut, etc) and, what’s ironic is sometimes they spend largely of what they earned on liquors and women (on bars). FYI, like Muslims, Subanen men are allowed to take more than one wife.

My mother used to resent our frequent visitors coming in different batches and spending nights out having a good time and expecting the door to be opened for them when they come home late. And not to mention my father lending his income to accommodate an entire clan. (That’s as far as I can remember.)

But my mother’s side of the family has the worse story to tell. And all that began after the great Datu Tangkilan passed away, leaving his sons and daughters from six wives to impose order upon themselves and, in effect, preserve and enrich the Subanen culture.

Critical Areas

I can’t speak much, however, about the rest of the towns of Zamboanga del Norte. Four towns have been considered critical areas, the Triple S-B area: Sibuco, Siocon, Sirawai and Baliguian. These have remained a battlefield between the military and the Moro guerrillas over the years.

Conclusion

Even without prior intention, when I re-read my horoscope (FYI, I’ve subscribed because I like to read about good stuffs everyday), it says: Look at the collective picture, and open your eyes to the world around you. Get involved on a community level.

I'm Glad I'm Not...

2006-10-19T17:35:00.002+08:00

I was ready to text unpleasant words but my efforts to really control my impulsive responses (thanks to the book that immediately springs to mind – one I’m currently trying to complete, Attitude is Everything) have so far slightly succeeded.

Instead of complaining, I try to look at things in a different perspective – positive, that is. After having had my late lunch and coming in late for the afternoon of work, I opened one of my saved documents and there I found in my I’m-Glad-I’m-Not list written months ago (and meant to be added with more) is the entry: an only child.

Anyway, in one chapter of the book mentioned earlier, I was required to do some emotional exercises. The instruction was this: Make a list of the negative attitudes that may have held you back in the past. Beside each one, write down what you think the source of that attitude might be.

Soon as I began weaving attitudes history, I just went on and on – listing some new things that I haven’t realized or given the right amount of thought before. The author says the only way to really move on positively with life is to acknowledge the past experiences that have molded your life and have predetermined your responses to related situations in the future. I realize the clash of conflicting attitudes of bad and good within me. I recognized that same-mistakes-committed-followed-by-self-forgiveness have become a pattern.

So here I am, in a broad exploration. My reading of life will last a lifetime, but I will try to finish the book later.

Thanks, Michelle! :D

What would it be like?

2006-09-16T04:34:00.000+08:00

I got into thinking one day as I stared at the colorful display of life progressing around me.

What would it be like if instead of reading “Minimum Fare” on PUVs we see the sign “Minimum Fear: Getting robbed at gunpoint or ice pick”. (It should be better than getting bruises and your brain getting quaked after head-on collision with a ten-wheeler truck. Or worse, falling into a deep excavation.)

And what happens when you slam dunk a donut? (Kids, don't play with your food!) Or will Miss Donut be wearing – instead of a crown – a donut? Uhmm... a flavored halo?

And is the toilet (the less sophisticated term for rest room or CR) the shortcut for TOY outlet? (Wahahaha!! Mura'g bad man to.)

And what if the earth occasionally stops rotating and revolving?

What if we all lose our hair? Then we won't need shampoo, conditioner and hair parlor services. And not to mention hairbrushes or combs that come in all shapes, colors and “quality”. But the hat industry would be in boom. (Wow, hats are cool!) And probably the wig production, too. Waahhhh... then our scalps need sunscreen, too.

And what if each Filipino is required to plant and grow a tree or two? That would be an enormous addition of more than 80 million oxygen emitters. (Hayyy... some air.)

And what happens when all communication systems and internet servers went down for 24 hours at least? Would that translate to quality time for families and loved ones? Or would we only see the harm it does to businesses?

What if there's a camera with two types of lens: one that can see through the positive and the other, the negative traits of a person? Would that change anything at all?

What if raindrops for a minute or two turn to flowers when they touch your skin? Would you see its beauty, or the litter it creates in the streets, roofs, the seas, rivers – anywhere?

How often do you say, “Thank you”, “I love you”, “Good morning/afternoon/evening/day/night”, "Sorry" or offer the warmth of your smile?

How often do you go to the comfort room everyday?

Would you appreciate a No Vehicle Workday?

How far can you walk and explore without spending a single centavo?

What if the clothes, shoes, bags, furnitures (and other) manufacturers stop producing goods? We don't need all those extra stuff, and the mountains of trash they create. But we need the jobs. *sighs*

What if time comes when women are no longer capable of conception (meaning, the world population has reached its limit)? Then we would make the most of what we have. And marriages would be merely meant for companionship.

Has the TV created such an illusion that we consider our lives less interesting than those we see in it?

What if everyday we hold a masquerade? (Yup, the party!) Wouldn't it be too expensive a lifestyle?

What do you like best about your job? How did you come to choose your occupation?

Consider the following couplet for a while:
“I hate the blues
because I had no shoes...
until upon the street,...
I met a man who had no feet.”

How often do you count your blessings?

What would you be more scared of – being chased by a mad dog or stepping into a quicksand?

How often does your rude side come to the fore?

How about dropping a coin or two daily in our spiritual banks? What if we make it a habit to contribute to charities? What if we highlight the good things and downplay the unpleasant?

What if we're only allowed a maximum net worth, the amount in excess will be given to the needy? What if a day's earnings in lotto would be collectively used for a worthy cause once a week/month?

What if men become women for a day? And the other way around? Would things turn out better? What if babies can walk, talk immediately after birth? Would that decrease our life span?

If Veronica decides to die, what if Jolina one day decides to do bold? What if the day comes when ugly becomes beautiful? Would it take darkness to see light? Opposites to recognize the significance of similarities? A certain complex to appreciate simplicity? A kind of mess to value order? Too much heat to appreciate the rain?

What if death is at an arm's length from you?

Would the prisoners or deprived ones turn out better writers?

Sometimes we have become used to saying “for men/women”, we forget that some just need to hear “panlalaki/pambabaye” to get the message across.

-()-

Treasures need not be hunted - look no farther.
FYI: Toilet originally meant a lady's draped dressing-table.

Straight from the Hurt

2006-08-01T17:49:00.000+08:00

This is my first entry here.

-()-

This is reminiscent of that time several years ago when I wrestled with the issue. I thought being someone whose underlying message is more clearly delivered in writing is nothing short of a... CURSE! But, after a few moments of deliberation, I ended up deducing that, okay, I am unique, I am special, I am not like anybody else. But damn!

I am so filled with horrible feelings right now (read: depression, depression and depression) that I want to cry. This could come out as a mere rambling of a mind at wit's end. What's worse, it's a case of not really being able to figure out what this is all about.

Why is it sometimes difficult to love oneself despite the proximity and the fill of people who profess and openly display their affection?

(This could be reduced to a rambling that could go on and on...)

My horoscope, in its vain effort to psych me up, has a quick feedback: You probably won't find the answers just yet to the questions you may be asking yourself today. Yeah, that surely helps.

I took an online test and the result issued: “You're not miserable, but you could stand to be a lot happier.” But this is not merely about me. It's about millions of people out there awaiting that “warm” embrace. For a start, adopt me by leaving a visible trace of your visit.

Sometimes the thought and feeling of being alone is too much to cope with.

Maybe I was born like this. And, yes, life goes on. Life can be more beautiful, if only it goes way beyond myself.

So... how do you fit in to the world?