Ending 2008 with a Bang!

After revisiting a post written as 2007 ended, I got inspired to write a similar one for 2008.

Some things worthy of revelry:

1. Overcoming the challenges at work.
2. Baby Raj’s First Birthday!
3. Having a great family.
4. Raj doing great even with his parents away.
5. Always having a grand vacation time with family.
6. Having been able to support my sister and parents in their endeavors.
7. Great friends outside work.
8. Great new friends at work.
9. Getting a taste of the things I love doing or at least love to try like:
1. jamming with a band
2. taking a very short theatre acting course
3. volunteering for Gawad Kalinga
4. volunteering to give cheers for the sick and elderly organization
5. organizing our company’s blood-letting activity
6. watching Air Supply’s concert Live!
7. mangrove tree planting
8. donating for other worthy causes (typhoon victims, student scholars, etc)
9. joining toastmasters club
10. sharing an unforgettable moment/spotlight with our company’s Country Manager
11. participating in our company’s Christmas party through a group dance number – with positive feedback =)
12. taking a short fashion accessories class
13. joining the Moms’ club in our office
14. dined at fancy restaurants
15. re-processing my passport application
16. videoke with friends/officemates
17. Christmas party with my husband’s family
18. videoke up to sawa with family on New Years’ Eve
19. grand Christmas vacation with family (three weeks!)
10. Being in a really positive working environment.
11. Movies I enjoyed watching.
12. Books/articles I enjoyed reading.
13. Having finally parted from an abusive/offensive lead.

On the other hand, here are some feats to achieve this year (2009):

1. Going home every three months to spend time with my baby.
2. Starting to operate a small business.
3. Finding a great place to settle down (Dipolog City).
4. Raj turning Two years old!
5. Taking piano lessons.
6. Welcoming new people into my life.
7. Contributing more as a person.
8. Contributing more as an employee (Improving technical and leadership skills, and helping organize community activities).
9. Taking on a more positive life perspective.
10. Making bolder moves.
11. Getting a healthy lifestyle (like healthy food, exercise, dance routine, and… gym? Yoga?).
12. Time management.
13. Helping my sister fulfill her dreams.
14. Buying that book by Steve Chandler.

And the list could go on... Happy New Year, everyone! =)

The Day He Said Goodbye

One time, Karl went home to his parents and to this day, I don’t know the reason why. Sometimes he has this habit of answering you with, “Wala lang” probably in his attempt at keeping some things to himself. And sometimes I choose not to go beyond the line. I don’t know, I have this feeling that he might have had enough of me that he wants space, if only for a while. And it even comes to my “luoran” point that I could say the infamous words, “Hell, yeah! I am not your partner; I am just your wife.” Pathetic as it may seem.

But, honestly, when I first heard of his plan, angry silence wasn’t the right description of how I felt. I felt betrayed. Thoughts raged in my head like, does he want to relieve himself from fatherly duties for a while? Does he feel he has had too much of a load playing dual roles when he’s awake for work late at night? You know, sometimes, when I’m really tired, I need to recharge… even for just a few hours.

And yeah, who’s complaining now? And to mention one of the least, did he have to contend the pains over being unable to breastfeed because I am away tugging with my PC? But being me, sometimes silence is my best cover lest I say things that should have been better left unsaid.

But still I cried when it was time for him to go. We’ve been almost inseparable since we got married (and even before that). Mingaw kaau oi.

Still this experience smacks reality in the face.

I was actually glad he was gone for a while! The evenings just weren't the same. I was happy to have the bed to me and my baby (Raj used to sleep in our midst). It was comfortable to surf the internet and check my e-mails alone, no pressure of company to limit my usage of the PC. Raj was hassle-free, too, perhaps sensing my comfy high. Now, I do appreciate some time apart. Although between us, I am least likely to be discharged of my motherly duties. But then again, I can’t probably live a night without my baby at an arms length or two.

I got this beautiful statement from a website:

“Part of me is happy that I get to breath for a day and know that I am breathing for me. That the steps I take are leading me to where I want to go. And, as much as I love you all, I need a day to escape life. Our life.”

For All the Women Who Have Loved

I just want to make a stand. It appears that I have followed the story between these three celebrities in the Philippines where a baby is closely involved. Maybe I feel strongly for this because –– yup, you guessed it right –– I am a mother, too. And I, too, will do anything to keep my family from falling apart. I may have a personality that contradicts what I usually allow to be seen with.

For those who haven’t been mothers, you have no idea what we had to go through and what we’re going through. That it’s inevitable that we sometimes turn into our inner monster. You have no idea what we are capable of. I have seen this same trait from my mother and, thanks to her, we have remained a family to this day, getting closer and enjoying each other’s company a little more for what little time we now have to get all together.

Sometimes guys can be less assertive (and how I hate it!) and that’s when women should toughen themselves up a bit. I am not the type of woman or person who can be lured with material things; I’m way better than that. My life doesn’t revolve around beauty products, shopping, travels, gadgets –– vanity in itself. I may not know my absolute worth but I know I am made of stuff beyond the superficial.

That’s why I appreciate efforts to be together (read: quality time) and no-matter-how-little efforts to make one feel that he/she is important. Some people may have this difficulty deciding who and what's more important in their lives. Sometimes they tend to forget that it’s family who’ll be there for them the most and they should not take them for granted. Would you appreciate a guy who wouldn’t stand up for you? Yeah, forgive me for saying this, but I’m enduring this. And I’m not loving it.

That’s why I am so buying Carlene Aguilar’s side of the story. She’s a lot braver and more admirable than what she has been given credit for and knowing what she’s fighting for is even the least of the reasons for it.

“Tripping” Down Provincial Lane

Raj and I went home (to Dipolog and Sindangan, Zamboanga del Norte) to visit his grandparents on both sides. The trip should have lasted for 3 days but some inconveniences presented themselves and we ended up staying there for 5 days. And since we didn’t have much of a choice (Cebu Pacific doesn’t have a direct flight to Dapitan), we took the trip the traditional way –– by ship.

And to say the least, it’s one of the most inconvenient travels I’ve had on the way back. I love going to places but I’m not so fond of “tripping” (while taking the trip, that is) due to motion sickness. Plus, having a baby on travel (four months at that) is more hassle than pleasure. Haha! Of course, as a mother, I’m not supposed to say that. To tame that statement, anyway, I’ll just say it doesn’t delight one to see her son being inconvenienced when she herself is having the queasy feeling inside.

I was texting Karl all the time of our plight but he is just not one to drop everything to rescue you. Paet. Dili sya kalupad or kalangoy just to be where we are. Besides, I insisted on going home on such a short notice after a nagging request from my side of the family.

But on the other hand, here are some good reasons why you should visit your kid’s lolos and lolas as often as you can:

1. Grannies know better than mother’s best.
2. Seeing the smiles on their (grannies’) faces is priceless. They’re more excited to see their apo than parents are.
3. Nothing can be cuter than lolo-apo or lola-apo tandem.

4. Parents, especially first time ones, commit the mistake of handling the baby in an awkward manner.
5. Isn’t it an established fact that grannies spoil apos more than parents do of their kids?
6. Your kid will love the fresh air back at grandparents’ hometown.
7. They (the whole family) just looove your baby! And it’s nourishment to both parents and baby’s souls.
8. An arrival of apo in the family tends to elicit fuller and more meaningful relationships between parents and grandparents.
9. You can take a night or nights off without worrying whether the baby is in good hands.
10. They’re family, and that makes it the most natural thing to do.

Azir (that's what he's called by my side of the family) and his Tita... pure delight!

Sisters.. missing you always!