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A Moment Like This

Written on March 17, 2009

Tired. This is what best describes my state of mind and body now. It has become a norm for me to give my all to work – this is something I discovered about myself of late. I wasn’t like this at all – I was always fond of complaining for not being satisfied with where I was and what I did with my life. But that was past.

These days I’m simply tired. Not of life, in general but rather, for the reason that I don’t give my mind and body enough time to rest. All I did was work and think about many things, face the computer even at home always wanting to find better and more interesting ways to live, to spend my time on.

What makes this worse is when I watch videos of my baby – who, by the way, is growing up fast without us, it makes me sad… that I cry in silence. Yup, when I’m tired, I get extra emotional.

More than a year ago, I never imagined I will be away from my baby. Now, for the past year, we’ve only been together for 30 days, in 3 separate vacation leaves. And the fact that I have an inherent trait of being lukewarm in my relationships with people in general doesn’t make my relationship with my child any different. Sometimes he really doesn’t care if I come home to visit him. It’s since he doesn’t remember me that much. =(

But it’s not that bad actually. Having a child has taught me a lot on love without wanting to measure the love that would be given back. Coz that little one came out of my belly – a product of my sacrifices and labor. Sometimes I can’t believe Raj has become who and what he is now; sometimes I still can’t believe I’ve mothered a child.

I guess that’s one of life’s miracles. A rather sweet miracle. =)

Fanatik!

I caught this number called Music Room in ASAP 09, and there was Christian Bautista -- who, while singing, flashed that killer boy-next-door smile. Eeeeeeiiiiiiiii, it’s incredible having celebrities who can give you that wonderful “kilig” feeling.

Later, I caught John Lloyd Cruz -- who I also think is acutely funny and cute, with all his playfully awkward efforts to dance and sing. Hahaha!!! I’m a Lloydie certified fan! Galing e. =D

Then I watched a video featuring Mark Anthony Fernandez from a GMA 7 website, who’s also sooo good-looking in a more mature way. Hayyy…

I really can’t help it; I’m a fan of local showbiz. =D Besides, I’m also a sucker for exciting and dramatic events that happen to celebrities in real life. I’m not really fond of telenovelas but I watch musical variety shows, talk shows, and I just love watching a number of these talented folks -- I get carried away with their real-life sentiments more often than not.

And, of course, I wish I had watched the second half of Eraserheads’ much-anticipated concert last night. =(

Ending 2008 with a Bang!

After revisiting a post written as 2007 ended, I got inspired to write a similar one for 2008.

Some things worthy of revelry:

1. Overcoming the challenges at work.
2. Baby Raj’s First Birthday!
3. Having a great family.
4. Raj doing great even with his parents away.
5. Always having a grand vacation time with family.
6. Having been able to support my sister and parents in their endeavors.
7. Great friends outside work.
8. Great new friends at work.
9. Getting a taste of the things I love doing or at least love to try like:
1. jamming with a band
2. taking a very short theatre acting course
3. volunteering for Gawad Kalinga
4. volunteering to give cheers for the sick and elderly organization
5. organizing our company’s blood-letting activity
6. watching Air Supply’s concert Live!
7. mangrove tree planting
8. donating for other worthy causes (typhoon victims, student scholars, etc)
9. joining toastmasters club
10. sharing an unforgettable moment/spotlight with our company’s Country Manager
11. participating in our company’s Christmas party through a group dance number – with positive feedback =)
12. taking a short fashion accessories class
13. joining the Moms’ club in our office
14. dined at fancy restaurants
15. re-processing my passport application
16. videoke with friends/officemates
17. Christmas party with my husband’s family
18. videoke up to sawa with family on New Years’ Eve
19. grand Christmas vacation with family (three weeks!)
10. Being in a really positive working environment.
11. Movies I enjoyed watching.
12. Books/articles I enjoyed reading.
13. Having finally parted from an abusive/offensive lead.

On the other hand, here are some feats to achieve this year (2009):

1. Going home every three months to spend time with my baby.
2. Starting to operate a small business.
3. Finding a great place to settle down (Dipolog City).
4. Raj turning Two years old!
5. Taking piano lessons.
6. Welcoming new people into my life.
7. Contributing more as a person.
8. Contributing more as an employee (Improving technical and leadership skills, and helping organize community activities).
9. Taking on a more positive life perspective.
10. Making bolder moves.
11. Getting a healthy lifestyle (like healthy food, exercise, dance routine, and… gym? Yoga?).
12. Time management.
13. Helping my sister fulfill her dreams.
14. Buying that book by Steve Chandler.

And the list could go on... Happy New Year, everyone! =)

Weird Lang

Today is 08-08-08; for some, it’s something special. But I intend to spoil it, anyway

If there is such thing as being prone to ingrown nails, that should be me. I don’t know how many times I have endured the pain having to find the culprit scrap of a nail that wasn’t taken out as should have been. Hayyy, I really wish those times I could have a dose of anesthesia! Mavuang ko sa kasakit!

There was one instance when my sister was there to rescue; I was crying all the while she was tinkering with my swollen toe. As if I was watching an uber-drama special.

Makes me really wonder how I survived the throes of childbirth given my low tolerance for pain. It’s one of life’s miracles – one where I experienced pain of the extreme kind that left me extremely powerless and helpless. Well, even that is an understatement; I thought I was on my final moments. No kidding.

Well, I’m not trying to scare anyone who hasn’t been there yet. I just want to say that you should think a hundred times if you’re thinking of having a baby.

Wah! Kidding.

Find out for yourself, anyway. That first time was traumatic enough for me that if I would absolutely have it my sanest way, I will happily make do with one child. I might not be able to handle another round of it. Yes, I’m scared… to death.

The Time is Now!

It is once said that you should make it a religion of everyday if you’re really intent on succeeding at something. For the sole purpose of making this newfound principle work, I have to commend myself for trying to keep on track. And it’s been five days now.

Though this entry is going to be short because I don’t feel that well today (just temporarily physically), I still thank God knowing that the day has come and gone with my loved ones safe and sound. I have always been the one who says her prayers many times during the day (and, of course, closes the day in prayer). Blogging about it is just something I add to my daily habit.

For some who may have taken up the view that another day is something that naturally arrives and comes to pass, well, this is an attempt to find a day’s true worth to avoid regarding it as just “another” 24-hour episode. Everyday is a gift; let us cherish it as it comes, holding it in high esteem as if it were the last day that we are to live. That way, we go beyond our usual routine, get to accomplish more and live a life to the full. This is very positive.

Have you always wanted to grab the microphone and sing your heart out, although your voice doesn’t have that top singing quality? Planned to say “I love you” to someone but never had the guts to do so? Have always wanted to take up Master’s Degree but never found the time? What are you waiting for? Today might be your last chance to act on it, so do it NOW!

NOW is what you have; NOW might be the time you only have. Make NOW count while it lasts; make the most of NOW!

So NOW I’ll thank God for giving the best life that I could ever have! =)

Original post here.

Take Control!

For me, and I bet most of you will agree, phones are an important resource that we invest on. In our case, the land line phone comes in the package with the internet connection, at least for the duration of the lock-in period. A great offer actually.

Until for some reason, our bills shoot up to 12K! Whew..! That really sent our BPs up and made me utter some unpleasant words for a couple of days. But you see, this is just one of the challenges that we have to overcome as a couple. At least now, some lessons can be learned out of the experience. Don't just rely on trust; try to exercise preventive measures.

But after all's been said and done, you have to get up and elevate yourself from that flashing moment. Bills need to be settled as agreed no matter how painful it is paying for something that you haven't even spent for yourself. And bills should be paid even if it means taking up a loan if you can't pay for it with your current salary. This is a fact that you have to live with. Just be sure to get back right on track when you've fully recovered the loss. We all go through that at some point in our lives.

And while we're at it, here's a cash advance online resource that might help you get that funding that you need. This is worth checking out, folks, as their flexible payment options truly help.