Break

Concentration may not come easily to me right now, but I want to write down things as honestly as I need to be, while navigating through windows on my PC. Some petty things make me sad – even depressed these days. It’s something past the hormones.

Very recently, I learned about something that failed to register as it should. A serious lack of compassion – yup, sometimes I am capable of exhibiting just that. I’ve acquired a mechanism to shield myself from hurt and damaging stuff even as a child, hence my failure to respond effectively to interpersonal matters on occasions. But still that qualifies me for atypical sentimentality.

Maybe it’s the variety of songs that I’m currently playing. Now I’m back to my starting point. Off I go.

You Rock My World

It’s been days that I’m having the serious condition of discomfort, particularly in my belly – that aside from the fact that the baby has grown heavier each day. It has been taking time to leave the house while constantly trying to assess my body’s condition, if I can make it to travel and through work until 6 pm.

Thank God my sister has come to the rescue, bringing someone along who would take care of my needs. As usual, she has been my Knight in Shining Armour. I have been sick for more than two weeks, mostly caused by the growing unease of my delicate state. I’m having difficulty even in sleep. And now, despite everything, I’m so thankful and happy that I can finally relax at home and that we (my baby and I) are gaining more strength.

Sometimes, I’m really scared of what’s happening to me and my body. It’s treading unfamiliar grounds and it’s definitely something outside my comfort zone. Sometimes the fear prevents me from seeing things with the proper perspective, from celebrating the joys of pregnancy. But I’ve never been the one to be resigned to the idea that life is difficult just because I am having momentary difficulties.

Whereas nature intended to spoil pregnant women and babies, I’m far from the ideal weight – yup, my baby needs help because Mama is not that well. But still, everything’s gonna be alright. Rock ta bai!