Friday, March 27, 2009

A Moment Like This

Written on March 17, 2009

Tired. This is what best describes my state of mind and body now. It has become a norm for me to give my all to work – this is something I discovered about myself of late. I wasn’t like this at all – I was always fond of complaining for not being satisfied with where I was and what I did with my life. But that was past.

These days I’m simply tired. Not of life, in general but rather, for the reason that I don’t give my mind and body enough time to rest. All I did was work and think about many things, face the computer even at home always wanting to find better and more interesting ways to live, to spend my time on.

What makes this worse is when I watch videos of my baby – who, by the way, is growing up fast without us, it makes me sad… that I cry in silence. Yup, when I’m tired, I get extra emotional.

More than a year ago, I never imagined I will be away from my baby. Now, for the past year, we’ve only been together for 30 days, in 3 separate vacation leaves. And the fact that I have an inherent trait of being lukewarm in my relationships with people in general doesn’t make my relationship with my child any different. Sometimes he really doesn’t care if I come home to visit him. It’s since he doesn’t remember me that much. =(

But it’s not that bad actually. Having a child has taught me a lot on love without wanting to measure the love that would be given back. Coz that little one came out of my belly – a product of my sacrifices and labor. Sometimes I can’t believe Raj has become who and what he is now; sometimes I still can’t believe I’ve mothered a child.

I guess that’s one of life’s miracles. A rather sweet miracle. =)

Sunday, March 08, 2009


I caught this number called Music Room in ASAP 09, and there was Christian Bautista -- who, while singing, flashed that killer boy-next-door smile. Eeeeeeiiiiiiiii, it’s incredible having celebrities who can give you that wonderful “kilig” feeling.

Later, I caught John Lloyd Cruz -- who I also think is acutely funny and cute, with all his playfully awkward efforts to dance and sing. Hahaha!!! I’m a Lloydie certified fan! Galing e. =D

Then I watched a video featuring Mark Anthony Fernandez from a GMA 7 website, who’s also sooo good-looking in a more mature way. Hayyy…

I really can’t help it; I’m a fan of local showbiz. =D Besides, I’m also a sucker for exciting and dramatic events that happen to celebrities in real life. I’m not really fond of telenovelas but I watch musical variety shows, talk shows, and I just love watching a number of these talented folks -- I get carried away with their real-life sentiments more often than not.

And, of course, I wish I had watched the second half of Eraserheads’ much-anticipated concert last night. =(

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